Thursday, 29 November 2007

What I learned about Bipolar Disorder from my Therapist.

At last I have finally managed to begin a route towards responsibility because now I have everything I need. I've got a positive therapist who is always there when I need her. I've got all the necessary details that I need to give to the company I applied to for a job and I have realized that I am full of optimism. I am ready to take on new projects such as dubbing for a new cartoon that is soon to be released. The hardest part of this week has been undoubtedly looking after my dog. Although I have spoken optimistically in previous posts I think that learning responsibility is a slow process and I am happy to share my experience with all of you.

Looking after a dog is like looking after a child and no one can look after a child better than their mother. My therapist told me today that when children grow up, they start looking after themselves and I think that was what was primarily holding me back from getting a job. I was not only being the man of the house but I was also being the woman of the house as well because when it came to it, I had to clean up the entire house. Of course sis, you are too young to understand the meaning of all this, but we still love you. After all what would it be like if we could not be young. We both thought that it would be better if the house was clean before my mother arrived but oh well! Its the thought that counts.

I have realized that since going to the therapist I have slowly learned to detach myself from my illogical and abrupt emotions. I think more logically in comparison to normal but I still feel that I must restrain myself from acting out strange emotions. I know that this is difficult for many people affected by bipolar disorder and I think it is something we all need to work on. Through therapy I was able to learn that I am not alone in my illness. There are many people experiencing the same emotions and consequently the same events. Together with research, I have found that anything can be solved. I say this because when I was suffering from severe depression, I believed that I was alone and that nobody could help me. I didn't phone my friends, I could barely walk across the street and I just wanted to stay away from 'other' people.

My therapist told me that I had to travel by myself to therapy (1 hour journey) and that I would gradually learn how to survive on my own. Eventually I did learn to make friendships, go to entertaining events with them and finally get a job to earn some real money. The process of learning about independence is a slow one but I am optimistic and I feel that I will eventually reach a point where I can sustain my own well being. This may take years or months but it all depends on how much money I earn and whether I can earn enough to be independent. It also means a lot of emotional detachment which is the hardest part considering I only have one parent but we shall see how things evolve. The problem is that we have a lot of abandonment issues in our family and my sister is the only one who seems to have worked round that. It's hard being the only man in the family.

Indeed I have summarized all the things that I need to deal with but nevertheless I am as optimistic as I can be. I am continuing my medication as usual and as my friend camaroman states: "Let's all be friends." Like camaroman and myself, we are all dealing with problems but even with one friend we are much happier. We all need friends and we all need to help each other. I hope that my insights may also help you. Some professionals cannot be trusted that is true but my therapist has always been there for me so far and I believe that she can guide me towards a happier future. If we do not know what is wrong with us, we can never solve it.


UofT 1st Year said...

I'm glad that you have a positive relationship with your therapist. I wasn't as lucky, which is why I turned to self help books.

To each his/her own!

Anonymous said...

It's interesting how you associate women with cleaning and house-hold chores. But still it's a good post.

Kramer said...

Well if you want I can discuss this topic in my next post. The post could be about generalization of the male and female stereotypes? What do you think Anon?

Jhon mac said...

Very informative and well written post! Quite interesting and nice topic chosen for the post Nice Post keep it up. Excellent post. I want to thank you for this informative post. I really appreciate sharing this great post. Keep up your work.
bipolar disorder types